It’s official: Monizze Pay has launched. You can now pay with your meal vouchers, eco-vouchers and gift vouchers straight from your smartphone. Good news for your pockets, a small void for the card — which never asked for any of this.
Rather than let it go quietly, we asked you a question: if you no longer needed your card to pay, what would you do with it? We offered three sensible suggestions — bottle opener, ice scraper, plant label. You went well beyond the brief.
Thousands of you wrote in. We read everything. And we laughed a lot.
For five weeks, the most original idea won €50 in Monizze gift vouchers. Here are the winners — and the favourites we didn’t have the heart to leave out.
Every quote is translated into English in this version, including those originally sent in French and Dutch.
Week of 7 July
This week’s winner
“I’d put it in the middle of a painting and call it ‘La Moni Lizza’”
The very first week set the tone: we were not dealing with reasonable people. The jury folded in front of a pun that deserved a gilded frame.
Our favourites of the week
The cutest — “The card will always come in handy for paying… but from now on mostly for the wooden vegetables in my daughter Joséphine’s little shop. She’s 6.”
The most politically incorrect (the one we wouldn’t have dared write ourselves) — “Dental floss for… say, Guy Verhofstadt.”
The most corporate — “Maybe… a LinkedIn influencer? 3 years’ experience in payments. Now #OpenToWork. Agile, contactless, team player. Looking for a new challenge, ideally without a limit.”
Week of 10 July
This week’s winner
“A diving board for aquarium turtles”
An animal lover who dreams of seeing his turtles fly. Six words, no explanation required: the jury approved with its eyes shut.
Our favourites of the week
The most refreshing — “Emergency mini-fan: when it’s 30 degrees in Brussels, the tram is in sauna mode, and your Monizze card becomes your last hope of survival before you reach the office.”
The most appetising — “A cake scraper or spatula. To smooth whipped cream or buttercream evenly around little cakes and cupcakes.”
The handiest — “Being a DIY type, I’d keep my Monizze card in my toolbox. It’s perfect for finishing silicone joints around a shower tray or a bath. There are accessories that look a lot like the curve of the Monizze card’s corners, but you have to pay for those… This one: completely free!!”
Week of 24 July
This week’s winner
“From now on I’m using the card as an official ‘fries separator’. To stop the mayonnaise ruining the crispiness of the fries on the other side of the tray. Pure Belgian innovation!”
One week had to be devoted to the national heritage. The jury has rarely deliberated so fast.
Our favourites of the week
The most nostalgic — “I’d stick it between the spokes of my bike wheel, to make that sound that’s so typical of when I was a kid… I’m almost 41… nostalgia, then!!!”
The most intellectual — “During my last maths exam I used my Monizze card to find the tangent of a triangle in a circle, because I’d forgotten my ruler. Thank you Monizze for getting me through my maths exam and my hungry stomach.”
The most delicious — “Use it as a knife to cut small pieces off a big sheet of dough, for biscuits or mini pizzas.”
Week of 31 July
This week’s winner
“I cut it into little pieces to make a pocket puzzle for my kids, to keep them busy during the long car journeys on the way to the holidays. A good alternative to screens.”
Peak departure season, and an idea that solves August’s most universal problem: the last 300 kilometres.
Our favourites of the week
The vintage card — “My Monizze card is finally retiring. After all those years of loyal service, it can go and rest in the drawer next to my old video shop card and my Nokia charger. When I tell my kids we needed a card to pay, they’ll think I come from the Middle Ages.”
The luckiest — “Keep it for scratching lottery tickets”
Week of 6 August
This week’s winner
“A simple two-way door for my pet hamster”
The final stretch before the big day, and another entry from the animal kingdom.
Our favourites of the week
The most iconic — “I’d put it on display with a sign: ‘Careful: fed its human under extreme conditions (Monday mornings, end of the month and endless meetings).’”
Week of 13 August
This week’s winner
“I’d give it an early retirement on a miniature deckchair, after years of hard work surviving in my pocket, falling between car seats and enduring payment terminals. It’s earned it.”
To close out the contest, a card that asked for just one thing: a little rest. The jury didn’t have the heart to deny it its retirement.
Our favourites of the week
The couples therapist — “I stick ‘You cook’ on one side and ‘You do the dishes’ on the other. Household disputes are now settled by flipping the card. Fast, practical, and it saves relationship crises!”
The most explosive — “The card is perfect as a mini-catapult in work meetings, to launch paper balls at my colleagues.”
So what about the card?
It keeps its job: Monizze Pay is added to card payment, it doesn’t replace it. You open the Monizze app, hold your phone to the terminal, and it’s paid — at the same shops as before, without going through Apple Pay or Google Pay, on European technology.
In other words: keep your card. For paying on the days your phone is dead. Or for scraping the windscreen. We don’t judge.
Thanks to the thousands of participants. Your ideas are published exactly as you sent them, punctuation included.
Note: all images in this article were generated by artificial intelligence.
